Invisible
by Merlin
Summary: Xander hears a song and thinks about Buffy, he makes a decision, and moves on with his life..


Title: Invisible  
  
Author: Merlin the Enchanter  
  
E-Mail: merlin.enchanter@verizon.net  
  
Feedback: Greatly appreciated.  
  
Season: Post Season 6, Alternate Season 7  
  
Spoilers: Very few, a little over the entire run of the show.  
  
Categories: Songfic, AU  
  
Pairings: None Really, till the end.   
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, and a lot of other people own Buffy. I get no money by writing this, just hope for some kind words of encouragement.  
  
Summary: Xander hears a song and thinks about Buffy, he makes a decision, and moves on with his life..  
  
Archive Permissions: See, take, and keep, I would just like to know where so I can visit!  
  
Authors Notes 1: This idea came to me driving home from the store, and arguing with a lady-friend as to what the lyrics exactly were. The song is Clay Aiken's Invisible, and I spent the better part of an hour trying to find out which of us was right. The lyrics posted on the net go either way, so I chose the one that fit the best, Sorry if I'm wrong, Clay. This song just so perfectly described XAnder's relationship with Buffy I had to do something with it.  
  
Authors Notes 2: This fic is an Alternate Universe from the point where Caleb was killed. Buffy did not activate all the potentials, Spike never sacrificed himself, and "The First Evil" was actually defeated due to a concerted effort by the "Powers that Be" when they realized what his plan was.  
  
Invisible  
  
Xander sat alone at the back of the bronze, watching Buffy dance with Spike, while the potential slayers amused themselves dancing, playing video games, or just sitting around enjoying a night off from slaying. This would be the last time that they would be together before the potentials either returned to their homes, or went with Giles to England to help put the Council back together.   
  
He had thought himself pretty much over her until the beginning of last year, and then they started getting closer, almost becoming a family. They were spending their evenings together with Dawn, and really having a great time.  
  
Then Spike came back, supposedly with a soul. Buffy returned to form, and tried to help the murdering bastard. Spike under the control of the First was murdering people, and Buffy kept protecting him, using, "We need him for information," for an excuse.  
  
From there, things went downhill.  
  
Fast.   
  
Xander's mind started to wander again. Then a slower, more subdued song started to play, a new, fairly popular hit, and he listened to the words sadly.  
  
What are you doing tonight  
  
I wish I could be a fly on your wall  
  
Are you really alone  
  
Still in your dreams  
  
Why can't I bring you into my life  
  
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive  
  
[Chorus ]  
  
If I was invisible  
  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
  
If I was invincible  
  
I'd make you mine tonight  
  
If hearts were unbreakable  
  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
  
I would be the smartest man  
  
If I was invisible  
  
(Wait..I already am)  
  
Xander found this so ironic that he could barely restrain himself from laughing out loud. This song was such a perfect description of his relationship with Buffy.  
  
No matter how many times he saved her, helped her, was there for her, she never noticed him at all. He was truly "Invisible" to her. When he was younger, he used to wish for some sort of power so she would notice him, but it was not fated to be.  
  
Buffy, with the exception of Parker, only went for men with power of some kind, either genetic enhancements or mystical. He was just beneath her radar, or as the song said, 'Invisible.'  
  
I saw your face in the crowd  
  
I called out your name  
  
You don't hear a sound  
  
I keep tracing your steps  
  
Each move that you make  
  
Wish I could be what goes through your mind  
  
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life  
  
[Chorus ]  
  
If I was invisible  
  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
  
If I was invincible  
  
I'd make you mine tonight  
  
If hearts were unbreakable  
  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
  
I would be the smartest man  
  
If I was invisible  
  
(Wait..I already am)  
  
To her he was nothing, just the "Zeppo," as Cordelia had once put it. Sure, he had saved the world twice, once by preventing Willow from ending it all, and once, that no one knew about, when he prevented a bomb from going off when the Hellmouth was opened,  
  
But he was still "my Xander shaped friend' to her.  
  
Caleb had called him the "One that Sees" but he had never figured out exactly what the crazy former preacher had meant by that.  
  
Xander would never know, and neither would anyone else, that it was his thinking about the First's plan that had brought about the downfall of the "First Evil".  
  
He had been lying in bed one night, unable to sleep because of the nagging pain in his eye socket, and was trying to figure out just what the "First" was up to. They knew it had something to do with Buffy's second resurrection, but he could not understand how that could create such a evil heavy imbalance.  
  
It was then that "The Powers that Be" realized how much the dark side had taken advantage of the imbalance. From there, they had just adjusted the balance back to an even level, by forcing the "First's" ties to our world to be only through Caleb. And when Buffy finally managed to kill Caleb, the First had only the remaining Bringers and Ubervamps already here to make use of. His ability to create more was gone.  
  
The final attack was a forlorn attempt to win, but the good guys managed to come out on top, There were losses: Anya for one, who died saving Andrew, and five potentials were lost as well. But they did win, and Buffy, as usual, took full credit for the victory.  
  
He sat there, watching her sadly and listening to the words of the song, and something inside of him died.  
  
It was like the part of his heart that was fixated on Buffy Summers suddenly crumbled away, silently, and cleanly.  
  
When he looked at her again, the feeling of love for her was gone, the tie that had held him to her had evaporated. And now, he wasn't sure if he would even like the person she had become.  
  
I reach out  
  
But you don't even see me  
  
Even when I'm screaming  
  
Baby, you don't hear me  
  
I am nothing without you  
  
Just a shadow passing through...  
  
[ Chorus ]  
  
If I was invisible  
  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
  
If I was invincible  
  
I'd make you mine tonight  
  
If hearts were unbreakable  
  
Then I can just tell you where I stand  
  
I would be the smartest man  
  
If I was invisible  
  
(Wait..I already am)  
  
Buffy had felt Xander's stare from the time she started dancing with Spike. And whenever they swayed the right direction, she would look over at him.   
  
At first, she saw the longing and the love in his eye. But when the song started to end, she saw the look change. His face relaxed, and the light in his eye that was for her alone went out. Though she was glad that he was over her, she was still saddened by it. For so long she had known he would always be there for her, and now, well, now that was not for certain, anymore.  
  
When she again had the chance to see him, he was looking over the room. She was not sure for what, but she was saddened by the fact that it was not for her.  
  
When the song ended, Xander felt free for the first time in seven years. Free to move on, free to try and establish a relationship that was not one sided, or based mainly on sex.  
  
He finished his coke, and ordered another one, as he started looking around the room.  
  
His gaze passed over several beautiful young women, and in his head he analyzed them. Most were out only for a good time, or were with boyfriends. He continued looking over the women there, and thinking about what he really wanted.  
  
Dawn Summers, the only member of the group who wasn't a potential slayer or witch, sat alone. Since the defeat of "The First," she had been pretty much ignored by her sister. Only Xander paid any attention to her at all.  
  
Her crush on him had began the first time she met him, and although it had wavered often over the years, it had never gone away. And lately, it had strengthened; he was the last thing she thought about at night, and the first thing she thought about in the morning when she woke.  
  
She looked over at him and saw him looking at her sister. Buffy was all that he had ever desired, Anya only being a distraction, and that had caused that relationship to self destruct.   
  
All the young brunette had ever wanted was for him to notice her as a woman, but that was unlikely to ever happen. Sadly, she sat quietly and stared at her drink.  
  
Sitting and idly glancing over the crowd in the Bronze, Xander thought about all the relationships in his life. Excluding the Ms. French, praying mantis lady and Ampata, the Incan mummy girl, there were very few. He had truly loved Cordelia, but knew in his heart that it would never work between them, they were just far too different. His fluke with Willow had hurt Cordy badly, but she had finally forgiven him, and they would remain good friends.  
  
Willow had been in his life forever, but they would never be more than best friends. Even though the kisses they had shared were great, it was just wrong, more like kissing a sister than a potential lover. Besides, she was "Gay Now."  
  
Buffy was something that would never happen.  
  
Anya, bless her soul, was a wonderful if strange girl, and they had shared a lot over the time they had spent together, but like Cordelia, they were just too different to make it work. Even without the visions of abuse he had been give, he knew that he could have never gone through with it.  
  
There had been a few others, now and then, but they just never felt right.   
  
His eyes swept over the room again, and stopped when he saw Dawn sitting alone.   
  
Dawn.  
  
Somehow, something seemed different about her now.  
  
Xander sat quietly, contemplating Dawn. He had always had a good relationship with the Slayer's sister, but now he, for some unknown reason, began thinking differently about her. It was as if his sudden realization about Buffy had changed the way he thought about her.  
  
No longer was she Buffy's little sister; now, she was Dawn Summers.  
  
He thought about her now as potential dating material, and shook his head. She was intelligent, funny, beautiful, witty, and five years younger than him.   
  
He frowned. For him to date her now would be inviting trouble. True, she would be eighteen in five months, but what would they say about him?  
  
\\ Grandpa was nine years older than grandma, // his subconscious reminded him.  
  
He thought again about how her smile lit up a room, and how comfortable he was when she was around. He thought again how he had watched her grow into the beautiful young woman that she had become, and how she had always held a piece of his heart.   
  
With the realization that he would never have a chance with her sister, he now thought of her in an entirely different light, one that was full of possibilities.  
  
He raised his eyes and looked once more at the young woman seated across the room from him. She seemed lonely and sad.   
  
Then she looked up, and her eyes met his. For a second, the two held their gaze, and a smile broke out on both their faces.  
  
Xander grabbed his coke and got up, and started walking slowly but directly across the room to her.  
  
When he got there, he smiled down at her and spoke softly.  
  
"Could I have this dance, Miss Summers?"  
  
Dawn looked up at the man and smiled.  
  
"Of course, Mr. Harris. I would be delighted," she replied.  
  
Xander led the young woman to the dance floor as another slow song started playing. The two comfortably held each other and started slowly dancing, easily falling into the beat of the music.  
  
Buffy looked over and saw the couple dancing together. She frowned for a moment, then moved back into Spike's embrace. Every time she could, she watched her sister dancing with the man who at one time was her best friend.  
  
\\ When did things fall apart? // she wondered.  
  
After watching them several times, she thought a little more about the couple.  
  
\\ Why Not? // she thought. \\ Xander has turned into a responsible and caring man, loyal, honorable and passionate. He might be the right man for Dawn. He knows what's out there, and would be able to protect her far better than anyone else would be able to. He's funny, handsome, mature, and had become very responsible. Besides, I think that they could really have a good life together. //  
  
Dawns eyes met her sister's across the dace floor, and for a moment, she was afraid. Then Buffy smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up.  
  
Dawn smiled back, and buried her face in the crook of her man's neck happily.  
  
Spike had felt Buffy looking around at something, and tried to figure out what it was. Finally, after feeling her move her head to look at something, he spun them around so he could see what it was.  
  
To his surprise, it was Dawn and Xander. Noticing how Dawn was pressing against the carpenter, he snickered. When Buffy looked up at him, he spoke.  
  
"The Bit and the Whelp, what a laugh."  
  
Buffy frowned at her lover and answered with a low growl.  
  
"Let them alone, Spike. I couldn't ask for a better partner for Dawn. If that's what they decide to do, they will be good together."  
  
Spike only nodded, sensing that she was angry with him. It was no skin off of his nose, anyway, he had what he wanted.   
  
No one watching the couple that night would ever dream of the effect the couple, The Key and The White Knight, would have on the future of mankind.  
  
Or how happy they would be when they celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary with their family and friends.  
  
End 


End file.
